Thanks to a bit of creativity on my Freedom of Information Act request, I received the following transcripts of the conversations between Saddam Hussein and an unidentified al Qaeda operative.
Naturally, these conversations buttress the Administration’s repeated claims of a link between the Iraq and al Qaeda, so it’s rather a mystery why these transcripts haven’t been released to the general public as it’s quiet obvious that the contents are quite suggestive.
But I’ll leave that for you to see.
| CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY Supplementary Intelligence: Transcript Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309A |
| [Translated from Arabic] 0317 Local Time Saddam Hussein: Hello? Al Qaeda Operative: [Loud Arabic music in background] Hello? SH: Yes? Hello? AQ: Hey!-- SH: Hello? AQ: --Dude [Arabic equivalent. –trans.]! Man, you’ve gotta come over! SH: Who is this? AQ: [Laughter] What? I can’t hear you! C’mon over! There’s boomin’ music, plenty of food, lots of people. Get over here! Aww yeah [Arabic equivalent. –trans.]. . . SH: Ali? That you? Go home, you fool! AQ: [Laughter] This isn’t Ali, man! C’mon, loosen up a little! Party [Arabic equivalent. –trans.]! SH: What is this? Who do you think you’re talking to? AQ: Whaddaya mean? It’s you, man, or I wouldn’t be talking to you! Geez, try to invite a guy to a party and [mumbles off into riotous |
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| CIA - Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309A |
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background noise]. . . SH: [Loudly] Do you know who I am? AQ: What is this, twenty questions? [Singing] “Say my name, say my name. . .” [Didn’t realize the song was popular over there. –trans.]. Dude, c’mon: what’s up with you? SH: [Roaring] I am Saddam Hussein! Who are you? AQ: [Laughter] And I’m George Bush! Just come over! [George Bush Impersonation—doubly impressive since done in Arabic. –trans.] We can settle our differences here! [Call Terminated] |
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| CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY Supplementary Intelligence: Transcript Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309B |
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0321 Local Time SH: Hello? AQ: [Loud Arabic music in background] What’d you hang up on me for? I just wanted to-- SH: [Angrily] Who the hell is this? AQ: [Cheerfully] It’s me, man! Don’t be such a [expletive deleted]. Just come over. . . SH: Did you just call me a [expletive deleted]? A [expletive deleted]? Just who do you think you’re talking to, you piece of camel [expletive deleted]! AQ: What’s your problem, man? I just wanted to invite you to the party! SH: Do you know what time it is? AQ: It’s-- SH: It’s three-[expletive deleted]-twenty in the [expletive deleted] morning. Why the hell do you think I’d want to go to your lame [Arabic equivalent. –trans.] party at three-in-the-[expletive deleted]-morning? AQ: Man, chill [Arabic equivalent. –trans.]! SH: You chill [Arabic equivalent. –trans.] with your camel, [expletive deleted]! [Call Terminated] |
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| CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY Supplementary Intelligence: Transcript Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309C |
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0345 Local Time SH: Hello! AQ: [Loud Arabic music in background] What the hell’s wrong with you? SH: You call me at three in the morning and you ask me what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? AQ: Dude [Arabic equivalent. –trans.], we’re havin’ a lot of fun without you. You know you wanna come over. . . SH: I know I don’t want to come over. I’ve got a big meeting in the morning and I need to get some sleep. AQ: What about? SH: What about what? AQ: What’s the meeting about? SH: What meeting. AQ: [Slowly, as if talking to small stupid child] The “big meeting” you have in the morning that you just told me about but are now avoiding. SH: It’s classified. AQ: So? You think I don’t know what it’s about? I’ll bet it’s about the U.S. and just what you’re going to do about them. |
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| CIA - Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309C |
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SH: So what if it is? AQ: Man, this party’s to talk about the same thing! You can meet here! SH: I doubt your little party can really contribute a whole lot to my options, thanks. AQ: What do you mean? SH: [Patronizingly] I somehow doubt a little party of riff-raff and malcontents is going to help me a whole lot. I’m trying to plan for a country here, and you guys are just getting together, eating like pigs, and shooting the breeze. AQ: You know what?-- SH: What? AQ: --We’ve been trying to invite you to participate in this meeting because we thought you cared about the future, but you’re being a total jerk [Arabic equivalent. –trans.] about this, so forget it. You’re not invited, Muhammad. SH: I’ve told you: I’m not your little buddy Muhammad; I’m Saddam Hussein. AQ: Whatever [Arabic equivalent. –trans.]. . . You’re being a [expletive deleted], so you’re off the team. Forget you, man. SH: [Roaring] For the last time, I’m Saddam Hussein, not your little pal whoever! |
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| CIA - Saddam Hussein/Al Qaeda 19940309C |
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AQ: [To someone else] Dude, check the number: Who’m I calling? [Pause] You sure? You positive? Oh, [expletive deleted]. [To SH] Aw, man. I’m sorry. You’re totally not who I thought you were. Forget the whole thing. SH: [Expletive deleted]! [Call Terminated] |
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